Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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