So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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