He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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