What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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