I want to make a zoo with you.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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