Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
FUCK WHALES
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
