You're my little dorito
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
