We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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