I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
