Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
