eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
