Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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