She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
