Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
