so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
