She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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