It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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