We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
