I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
