dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
