This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
