Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
