Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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