I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
