the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
No subtext here. People are naked.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
