whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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