beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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