Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
she peed on how many people?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
