I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
