idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
