Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
