; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize
