She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
