you turned your livingroom into a bong?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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