Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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