This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
