i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
