scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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