Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Randomize
