Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
