i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
