I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Mom said you looked used
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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