he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
