Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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