That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
