Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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