Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
