shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
