let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
i think i just lost a toe
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
