Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
