Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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