I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
